WHERE’S THE BEEF? Written by Evan Jacobson

Before I begin my post, I’d like to wish everyone the best and happiest new year!!!

If you’re thinking about that classic 90’s Hamburger commercial where the bun is bigger than the meat, I can certainly understand that…

A little Nostalgia never hurts.  Let’s move on–shall we?

I’m a big fan of Guy Fieri and his show “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.”

There are several episodes where Guy hunts down the ultimate burger. He finds several variations and shoves them into his mouth. At that moment, I literally want to dive into the television, body slam him, and inhale the scrumptious burger. Instead, I’m teased and must live or suffer vicariously via Mr. Fieri. Then, I develop this torturous hankering for my own version of the ultimate burger: 2 kinds of Beef, a toasted Kaiser Roll, Carmelized Onions, Sautéed Mushrooms, Bacon, Banana Peppers, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese (that’s a blog for another day), Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Ketchup, Worcestershire Sauce and Peter Luger Steak Sauce (a sauce from the Best Steak Place in New York—another future blog). The Burger would be cooked on an outdoor Barbeque grill or fried on a seasoned metal flat. That should cover the basics. Aren’t you hungry? I couldn’t resist the cheesy pun! ☺

After setting up your expectations, I’m going to discuss BREAKFAST. WHAT?

What is considered “normal” Breakfast fare? Generally speaking, Breakfast consists
of eggs with some kind of Pork product (Ham, Bacon, Sausage), toast, several varieties of hot and/or cold cereal, French Toast (more eggs and bread), Pancakes, fruit, or some other combination of carbohydrates… During the week, Breakfast is usually perfunctory due to a lack of time. My wife prepares Brown, Organic Egg Whites with Turkey Sausage. We pay more money for the higher quality eggs and
I DO taste a difference. As much as I love Pork Sausage, I’m a bit concerned about my cholesterol…I still cannot decide on which “carb” that I want. Again, my choices are several different types of toast, a non-New York Bagel, and/or a cereal to satisfy my hunger. I would love to prepare luscious Eggs Benedict with extra Hollandaise Sauce, Canadian Bacon, Smoked Salmon, Mango from Costa Rica, and Pineapple from Hawaii. However, that is simply not possible during the week. However, I am really excited about Saturday and Sunday. We upgrade from the mundane to Smoked White Fish, Bagels and Lox, a frothy Latte, and freshly sliced fruit on occasion.

Where’s the beef? It turns out ennui has set in because I wasn’t excited about Saturday and Sunday. What are additional Breakfast choices? In the past, I used to eat Lunch and Dinner proteins for Breakfast. Steak and Sunnyside Eggs were the norm. I would even cook Pork Chops and Eggs. If I wanted a Tex Mex angled approach, I’d have an omelet stuffed with Beef Chili or Ground Beef, and load it up with cheese, onions, and peppers. My mouth is watering as I compose this…

Here is what I actually made for Breakfast today:


INGREDIENTS (1 serving):

1/3 Ground Turkey Patty
Carmelized Onions (1 large sweet Vidalia or Walla Walla)
Olive Oil (EVOO)
Worcestershire sauce
Banana Peppers
1 Kosher Pickle cut into spears
Red Leaf Lettuce
Sliced Tomatoes
Blue Tortilla Cornchips
Seasoning-Salt, Fresh Ground Pepper, Garlic Powder
1 Kaiser or Challah Roll with or without Poppy seeds
Optional—any kind of Cheese…
Gringo Salsa, Medium (Yes, I cheated. This is the best jarred Salsa as of this writing.)
Silver Diner Ketchup (Okay, a cheap plug—Excellent quality Ketchup)

1– Heat a skillet with some Olive Oil. Slice the Onion—make sure the pieces are thin and even because you’ll need about 15-20 minutes to Carmelize the Onions.
Add a pinch of Salt to the Onions.

2–While that is going on, season the Turkey Patty with the Salt, Pepper, & Garlic on one side only. Wash your hands to avoid cross contamination.

3–Cut up all of the remaining vegetables, warm up the toaster, take out your Chips and Salsa.

4—To get the timing correctly, you only need about 4 minutes on each side to cook
the Turkey Burger. Make sure skillet is hot to get that funky fresh sizzle. Place the
Burger in the pan with the seasoning side down to lock in the flavor and prevent the Turkey from falling apart. That can happen because Ground Turkey is very lean; fat prevents ground meat from breaking (it also tastes great). After you flip your Burger, drizzle some Worcestershire sauce on top. Cook until it is done.

5—Assemble everything else quickly so your food does not get cold.

6—Try to synchronize your eating with Guy Fieri’s. By doing this, you won’t feel teased anymore.

This Burger is a wrap! Actually, it’s a satisfying alternative to Bacon & Eggs…

FINALLY, you can avoid the question: “Where’s the Beef?”

Bon Appetite—Evan J. wanna be Gourmet