Hasta La Vista, iPod

Before explaining how I killed a 13-year-old iPod, you should probably get some background information about the physical media that consumed my life. It consisted of vinyl and cassettes. Prior to that, I also had an 8-track player–one component in my father’s custom built stereo system. His Bogen (sic) turntable operated smoothly. I remember sitting on the ugly olive green carpet on the ground floor in Eltingville (sic), Staten Island, and powered up his system; this took a few minutes…  I inserted Back In Black, a legendary ACDC recording, into the 8-track and pressed the button.  When I heard those first few chords, it was a religious experience.  Forget marriage to a soulmate–I was in love.  I vaguely remember a handful of 8-tracks… My father bought Hot August Night, Neil Diamond.  I thought it was great, but eventually lost interest. Then I discovered radio. AM was the norm for a while, but eventually discovered FM (no static at all).  I listened to various stations: WABC, 92 KTU, WPLG (95.5), WNEW, and sometimes I’d hear glimpses of college radio (88.9 WSIA et al) from the 5 boroughs and NJ (Seton Hall and WDHA Jersey Giant). I was hungry for more and eventually started buying cassettes. My sisters possessed more vinyl, but it was complicated having access to their stuff.  When I entered intermediate school (called IS7), it was all about cassettes. Check out this snapshot consisting of 1/10 of my collection:

During 6th Grade, I had to choose a musical genre in order to fit in.  This is analogous to liking 2 New York sports teams–it’s taboo. Hence, I couldn’t like The Mets AND The Yankees, so I defaulted to the former.  The same concept occurred with musical genres.  I listened to so much musical variety and even loved Disco and Pop despite the peer pressure.  However, I had to become a rocker to be socially accepted, for lack of a better phrase.  I liked Donna Summer, but had to wear Rolling Stones “merch.” It actually worked out because it was easier to buy, trade, and lend cassettes to people.  Once I obtained a tape deck, I made mix tapes for people. This continued into the 80’s. Then, the CD player was invented circa 1982, but I didn’t purchase one at that time.  MTV started to explode circa 1984. I still had cassettes throughout high school (1983-86). I think I bought a portable CD player circa 1985–around the time I started driving. Then, I purchased a cassette adapter to listen to my small collection of CD’s in the car. Here are RUSH & Pink Floyd CD’s:

RUSH: Moving Pictures

I could not imagine a life sans Dark Side of The Moon…

Fast forward to 1988… I transferred to SUNY Oswego in Upstate, New York. I met George Liveris and we hit it off instantly.  We obsessed over various musical genres… Even though I opened up to “Fusion” and several genres in high school, I only listened to some sporadic Jazz–David Sanborn (sic), The Yellowjackets,  Steps Ahead, Miles Davis, et al. George, however, was the real Jazz expert.  Additionally, he was an expert in audio, read Stereo Review, and tons of audiophile-based literature.  His brother, Dennis, had a set of Magnepans (sic) and a Macintosh preamp with incredibly expensive wiring. George convinced me to purchase a REAL stereo system: Separate components that worked together even if they were made by different manufacturers.  During one of our school breaks, George convinced me to meet him in Westchester, NY.  He took me to “The Listening Room” to purchase my first Yamaha CD player, Yamaha receiver, Yamaha cassette deck, and Polk Audio speakers (the previous 2 items still work in 2020). The first CD I listened to at the time of purchase was “The Nightfly” (sic) from Donald Fagen of Steely Dan.  I was in 7th heaven and my audio listening life had been firmly established.  In 1990, I graduated from SUNY Oswego with several hundred CD’s. In 2020, I’m still purchasing what’s left of the CD market: A Pandora’s Box to explore in a future post…

About 2-3 years ago, my Aunt Joni gave me her 60 GB iPod Classic in white. She told me that it’s rarely used and the screen looks a little funny… Sometimes it doesn’t hold a charge… Sure, I’ll take it if you don’t want it… She had an interesting collection on it and all I have to do was say YES!  I was using it randomly when I wanted to listen to David Bowie (RIP), Lady Gaga, Freedom Rock, show tunes, and some other pop-oriented, commercial pablum… The device is still unpredictable. It lasts 20 minutes unless it’s mounted to a 30-pin dock alarm clock and plugged into 110 volts.

 Look to your right: 60 GB iPod Classic white (5th Generation), Courtesy of Aunt Joni…

Sometime around January, 2020, my iPod started to randomly crash.  Songs would disappear. I would sync the iPod and it would reload songs that were already stored in the hard drive. I knew something was going on, but tried to ignore it.  Unfortunately, the problems were getting worse.  I decided that I could change the battery. How hard could it be?  I watched several videos and have been fixing things for over 4 decades (it’s never that easy, but I drank the Cool Aid).  I bought a replacement battery, and pried open the iPod.  I don’t see any male/female connectors… What’s this ribbon thing? There are 2 ribbons? Where does it plug in?  Let’s watch a few more videos on YouTube… This is the part where one of my closest friends, Chris Valentine, would say, “…Evan, just because it sounds like a great idea, doesn’t mean it’s actually a great idea…”  I put it back together, but it didn’t look like new… It powered up, and then a BIG RED X with a Ghostbusters insignia displayed instantly.  It’s toast! The 13-year joyride just ended.

Even though Apple discontinued the iPod Classic line a few years ago, I remained faithful.  While there are many theories floating around as to why Apple discontinued the iPod Classic, one can safely agree that it was not yielding as much money as iPhones.  Let’s face it, the iPhone has everything:  Music storage, 1+ cameras, wireless calling (duh–it’s a cellphone or a smartphone or some kind of phone without wires and a rotary dial) tons of apps, and stores music (mp3).  In contrast, the classic iPod could store music, podcasts, and some games. However, it wasn’t bluetooth enabled and it couldn’t do what an iPhone does… The late Sam Kinison used to say or scream, “…you gotta move where the food is…” From a business perspective, keep selling what yields the most potential profit.  HOWEVER, there are a bunch of post-dated hippies like me (Generation X) that actively LISTEN to music. Moreover, I don’t feel like paying monthly fees for music subscription services. Truthfully, I’m emotionally attached to my CD collection, what’s left of my vinyl, about 200 cassettes, and my Classic iPod. I don’t want to resort to internet codependency.  I just want to play my music with my sound quality…

What’s the new game plan, Evan? After doing many hours of research, I decided that the 7th Generation iPod Touch was my only option.  It had to store a minimum of 80GB for starters.  I ended up with an attractive blue 128GB model.

Naturally, I freaked out about restoring my preexisting iTunes library onto this new device.  So… I watched some videos, read some articles, made a few calls to tech savvy humans.  I wasn’t going to fall for the “any idiot can do this” concept. I charged it up for a few hours, plugged it in to my MacBook Pro, opened iTunes, crossed my fingers, prayed for a few minutes, and it worked! It was synching my 12,000 song library! 45 minutes later, MY LIFE was restored.  I had to buy a case… More research… I found it, ordered it, and waited. It was only 3 days, but it felt like an eternity.  I tried to plug in my Grado SR80i headphones.  The 1/8 male plug is too big.  I can return the case.  Actually, I cannot return it due to our current pandemic situation.  Maybe, I can drill a bigger hole in the case for the barrel to fit?  “Evan, just because something sounds like a good idea…” OKAY! FINE! I ordered a cable made by ETK: 1/8 gold pin male to 1/8 female. It fits like a glove and my musical life has returned to a new normal. I can plug in ANY set of headphones and enjoy my music once again.  Therefore, we utter wisdom from The Terminator: “Hasta La Vista,” iPod Classic, and hello iPod Touch.Why don’t we play something magical? A DEEP ALBUM… Let’s put on “Court and Spark” from Joni Mitchell.